problematic gender rant, castration
perhaps i have identified with the phallus, have i joined the dark side? maybe i should get on estrogen and trip on shrooms
so uh, castration, i used to thinking about that a lot, just chopping it off, but also self-mutilation of body parts, cutting out chunks of flesh, just stabbing myself, i don't know if that is strictly related to gender dysphoria so much as a particular pathology of viewing my body as other and a burden, or desire to be a eunich basically rid of sexual desire, and so maybe linked to christian sexual repression, there's a lot of eunich shit in stoicism and buddhism which i read in late teens, like "the body is a corpse" is a saying in both traditions.
I'm not really into cock and ball torture but wonder if men who are into that had similar histories
egg_irl problematic gender rant
that egg_irl subreddit sure is weird and culty, i mean ironically/unironically trying to pill people into being trans, i suppose ritual awakening is an ancient means of personality change and this is just a modern version of that, and there's lots of people who come out or find themselves like that, but explicitly trying to induce some type of crisis, rather than encourage sober and non-judgemental self-reflection, it doesn't seem like the best way to encourage people to re-examine their gender... but one could make a case that closeted people are on many levels of self denial/repression/alienation/disphoria and so leaning into this psychodrama is necessary for some.
I would like to hear trans peeps take on this, i've seen many people say something about egg_irl being toxic or whatever, but i was never in that community other than just passively looking at their memes, they are fascinating aesthetic artifacts for sure
personally i went thru that and came out like yeah i'm basically cis, i do have gender disphoria and i fantasize about being a woman, but also like having muscles and a dick and capacity for violence, and not having to bath regularly or put much thought into my appearance -- i suppose i could be a woman and keep all those things, just i'm just lazy and went with the default, idk if that makes me cis or nonbinary, it's just not terribly important to me, so i'd rather just put my gender as male, i don't really identity with my cultures definition of masculinity, but i don't think i'm a woman, i think i would know by now lol, trans people seem to really know, maybe more so than cis people, and that's kinda my issue with egg_irl it's like okay, maybe some people need to just accept what they already know, but basically all cis people are confused about gender, and for many there is a level of volition and self creation, you can choose to change genders if you want, and what you really want that might take some time to figure out, and you shouldn't make it into some urgent thing where you're obligated to transition or you're a liar and a failure, a certain degree of guilt or regret and insecurity is unavoidable considering hetero-patriachal transphobia but it should also be a beautiful journey of self discovery where trans people are treated with kindness and patience and acceptance.
in my experience gender and sexual identity isn't really a static thing, like my sexual compass would oscilate pretty dramatically between women and men, as with whether i felt/acted more gay/straight, now if egg_irl was a thing when i was like 16 i might have gone trans, as I was always very androgynous and bi and would dress in drag and i also didn't really fit in with "gay" men, who universally said i was straight, maybe that's just bi erasure, but there's something to that, maybe little bit of homoeroticism and cross dressing is just totally a normal aspect of being a straight cis man.
principled disagreement, international solidarity
i'm trying to be nice to tankies okay, but i do we think we need state principle differences honestly if we're going to operate together respectfull on things we agree upon, and when it comes to the practical political problems facing people in capitalist core countries ( the US, Europe, Canada, Austrailia etc. ) as well as those is their Periphery ( Africa and Latin America) we basically agree on most things like opposing fascism and transnational corporations, supporting unions, opposing war and genocide etc. We shouldn't fight about things that don't matter like shit that happened 100 years ago on the other side of the planet, but we also need to listen to Socialists in China's sphere of Influence. These western tanks would benefit much by listening to contemporary Indian Marxists who have a long history diverse and sophisticated analysis ( they actually read their theory lmao) and put out much material in English.
